[dar-list] SOTW: How Do I Work?

[Wood Alexander]

Even though I was the one who posted the song of the
week, I've given more thought to the lyrics of "How Do
I Work?" in the last week than I ever had before. What
most strikes me about this song is how much it's about
a hidden inner life.

In the first verse, the narrator seems to hide her
hurt at people's reaction to her apparently
self-administered haircut behind a facade of
haughtiness and of being "more occupied." She also
loses weight, presumably in an effort to be more
attractive, then hides in the "caverns" of her old
clothes. And finally, while the doorman's "open smile"
evidently means a lot to her, she doesn't let him know
that.

In the second verse, she remembers hiding behing
shrugs of indifference as a child but also wondering
whether that was the real her -- looking in the mirror
and asking, "Is this all I am?" When she does let
herself go during the classroom dance exercise, her
reaction to the teacher's praise is to turn away,
hiding her feelings as she later will hide them from
the doorman. She later exuberantly expresses joy,
through dance, but only "in my room that night when
everyone had gone to sleep."

The beginning of the third verse is a little obscure.
I don't have any idea what "a single mark hanging on
its nail" is. But it's very clear what she means by
"Someone entered where no one has even tried." She has
developed a friendship or romantic relationship that
has reached a level of intimacy she hasn't experienced
before. She goes on to express the belief that she has
"beauty coiled up inside" and that she can be "tapped
just like a barrel." Then she pulls back and laughs at
herself, "another lonely kid grown up."

Still, what I get from this song is a picture of
someone, who despite a painful shyness and loads of
self-doubt, is sustained by the belief -- and reality
-- of inner beauty.

Another thing that has always struck me about this
song is the contrast between the idea of "just growing
old" in the chorus and the far more optimistic idea of
"aging well" in Dar's later song. I guess aging well
happens when someone has helped you to "grow without
just growing old."

I know it's late not just in the hour but in the week.
But I hope people won't let the calendar keep them
from sharing any further thoughts on this great song.

Alex